Other times it may be due to an adult child becoming abusive and the parent needs to cut off ties for safety reasons. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' In extreme cases, it can even lead to the son resenting his mother and becoming estranged from her. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. It's possible that there are underlying issues causing his poor treatment of you and if you can get to the bottom of those issues, you may be able to help him improve his behavior. 6. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. When this happens, children tend to distance themselves from their parents because they no longer feel loved or respected by them. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. This reason is related to #2. This will lead him to disrespect other women as well. A son is a lot like a reflection of you. Mothers who micro-manage their children make them feel like they can t function without Mom. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. You can find it in a million memes, It's reiterated in personal essays from women who say their worst relationships were with men who yelled at their moms . Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. From what they wear to who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers approval. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. This can be very frustrating for the son because he does not have a chance to express his feelings to his mother. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! The one emotion boys are allowed to show? Men will compromise in different ways with a mom as opposed to another woman. This can make them less receptive to their mothers attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave. Yet even with proper coping mechanisms employed, the relationship is strained when mental issues are involved. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. 1. Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is when the son feels like he cant express himself freely to his mother. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. Some of the most illuminating writing on the mother-son relationships comes from William Pollack in his book Real Boys, where he describes how men are forced into a "gender straitjacket" and how mothers can reinforce these norms by encouraging them to suppress emotion. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. We hope to be an endless source of information for parents and grandparents about the martial arts, parenting, education, teaching virtues to kids, discipline and much more. Make sure you show him how much you believe in him and what he can do, and dont forget to give him compliments when he succeeds at something. If a mother constantly questions her sons abilities, it can cause a lot of resentment in the relationship. This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is the more difficult kind of mother-son relationship to repair. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. The mother is the first person who can teach her son how to respect other people. Usually this stems from misuse of parent-child roles; for example, if there is an absent or neglectful father, then the mother may rely on her son inappropriately for counsel and companionship. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. A mother who crosses boundaries will inevitably have a son who will grow up to cut off contact with her. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Though traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. There are many reasons why sons might treat their mothers poorly, but some of the most common reasons include: lack of respect, feeling neglected or unimportant, feeling like they have to compete with other members of the family, and feeling like their mothers are too controlling. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. This can do further harm to the mother-son relationship. Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. Parenting means taking care of your child, making decisions for your childs well-being, and raising your child to be a good, moral person. Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. If your mom seems lonelylike she doesnt have any friends or interests outside of youthat could be a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. These sons (and mothers) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and come from all walks of life. Some mothers feel that they are always right, so there is no need to apologize. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first. This was addressed in a controversial but albeit continued influential way in the late 1800s by Psychologist Sigmund Freud in what he coined the Oedipus Complex. This goes full circle to show your son how much you care, that youre human, and that youre willing to go to great lengths to build a healthy mother-son relationship. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. This is exacerbated when the issue goes untreated. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship. They are toxic people and you can't change them. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_16',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');In addition, he will hate his mother more if he feels she has disrespected his relationships. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. It is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees in support of this site by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. And sometimes the reason can seem inexplicable. But unless he continues. Spouse Substitute. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. Sons in these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers through their problems and issues constantly. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. However, many people are unaware of the negative impact of their behavior. And a son from a loving mother may love her back, or hate her. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. These could include unresolved anger, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. So be sure to show him how much you care. The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. They concluded that the males argued more with the mothers, had fewer responsibilities like chores, and could not make decisions like daughters. Little Ninja parenting is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. The mother might use guilt trips or other manipulative tactics to try to get what she wants from her son, who will often feel like he has to give in because he feels guilty about not giving her what she wants. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. To Mat since 1994 awards and accolades from all across the country '' ) to two, and to. Resentment in the first person who can teach her son can be frustrating., mothers and sons can feel like shes trying to control his life werent or... T just hurting themselves logging in you can create a healthy mother-son relationship them to excel everything. 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